Recently I lost my mom due to lung cancer. She passed away exactly after four month of being diagnosed. When she passed away, I kinda felt relieved for her as it meant she did not have to suffer anymore. Now, as time passes by, I am beginning to realise how much I miss her. Although I have been living away from home and from her since I was 6 years old i.e since I start schooling, mom was always a phonecall away... I remembered when in secondary school, she would come and visit me on weekends bringing all types of home-cooked meals saying that I was too skinny. I remembered when I was a freshman in the US and just started cooking on my own, I'd called her to share the successes (or failures) of my made-up recipes. I remembered when my first child would not stop crying, I called her for advice... I remembered when I called her just to ask her what she had for lunch. ... or dinner or breakfast. Now no more.
I suppose no matter how old you get, you will always miss your mom. She is the reason why we are here in this world. When she was very-very sick I tried to imagine how life would be without her and felt that I was ready to face it. When it really happened, the emptiness is really unbearable, much more than I could ever imagined. I felt that I am losing my lifeline, I am without support. I know that I have my hubby and kids now but they are not the same... There was a special bond between a mother and child that no longer exist for me... I wish every child in this world would appreciate his/her mother while she is around because when she's gone, the void is undescribable.
After she's gone, I took up reading about the afterlife. A site I found was very enlightening. It says that life after death is actually very close to the living and is separated by a very thin yet inpenetrable barrier. The dead will not be able to breach this barrier, nor does the living. The spirit or we call it 'ruh' will have a revelation of his/her all and every action while he or she was alive and will understand how each action affect his/her relationship with God. With this knowledge the 'ruh' hovers and prays that his/her children will not go against the teaching of God. God willing, eventhough you have really passed away mom, it is comforting to know that the relationship is not severed. You're always there looking out to us. I promise I will be a better person due to your guidance and upbringing. . As the Ustadz says -'All parents in the afterlife will always wait for the doa of his/her pious children'. I will try my best to be an 'asset' to you in your afterlife. Amin.
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